Boring Film Challenge: Remove 1 Letter From A Film Title To Make The Most Boring Story Ever.

March 14, 2018

 

 

I got sent a WhatsApp message from brother today and in it was a game-type-challenge-thing: you have to remove one letter from the title of a film to make it the most boring story ever. For example: "Casper the friendly host" 

 

I don't know who came up with it, but thank you. It's genius. And to prove it, we have posted the best of the bunch, with a few of our own thrown in for good measure. Have a few Kleenex ready because those tears of joy are about to see daylight. 

 

 

Dude, Here's My Car - A short documentary discussing the location of a car.

 

The 4 Year-Old Virgin - Footage of a normal child going about their daily routine.

 

12 Years a Slav - An eastern european child has a birthday party.

 

2 Years a Slave - Bad enough but it could be a lot worse.

 

Goodfells - a Canadian lumberjack ranks his top 10.

 

Despicable M - 007 gives his account of the MI5 Christmas party.

 

Men Who Stare at Oats - Porridge obsessed farm-hands join government conspiracy.

 

Save The Last Dane - Paramedics rush to the aid of r&b artist Dane Bowers after he collapses during a 10K.

 

Far From The Madding Crow - Picnicking couple must relocate in order to avoid bird acting in a frenzied manner.

 

Gangs of NW York - biopic of hardest gang in Yorks commuter belt.

 

Lad and the Tramp - Powerful documentary as a self-proclaimed 'bantersaurous rex' discovers the troubles facing the homeless community.

 

A Clockwork Range - Documentary about an efficiently run rifle club.

 

Tomorrow? Never, Des - Des Lynam tries to order some eggshell tiles for his new bathroom, but is told they are out of stock.

 

London has Allen - Post uni, young man heads to the big smoke for next chapter.

 

CTOpussy - The Chief Technology Officer of a start-up in Soho is unhappy, but too scared to look for alternative jobs. 

 

A.M. Legend - The tale of a 9-5 commuter's epic morning regime.

 

The Martin: A petty 3-hour argument between Clunes, Sheen, Lawrence and Skrtel over who should be known as the definitive Martin.

 

Win in the Willows - Half-price squash racket secured via chit in the Sherborne school sports shop.

 

The Empire Trikes Back - After the breakdown of the millennium falcon, hans solo makes his way home across a galaxy far far away on a tricycle.

 

Sliding Drs - Sequel to Cool Runnings in which a team of medics go for Olympic gold.

 

'aving Private Ryan - Soldiers set out to beat the fuck out of Private Ryan.

 

10 Dalmations - Dog gives birth to a slightly bigger than average litter.

 

The Life of I - Self-indulgent autobiographical fare, written and directed by and starring Timon Woodward, whose life has been utterly uneventful to date. (Running time 374 mins).

 

0 first dates – A riveting tale of a guy on Tinder who never swipes right and doesn’t go on any dates.

 

Kill ill - Very controversial documentary about Euthanasia. Not well received by critics. won 5 oscars, one of which was 'Best Animation’.

 

Batman, Return - A voiceover-heavy film depicting a heartbroken Robin typewriting letters to his old pal, who eloped with Robin's sister about 3 years ago.

 

Grizzly Ma - spin off to making a murderer featuring Stephen's mother.

 

Fat and Furious - Large divorcee contemplates life and it's struggles.

 

Toy Tory - David Cameron interns at hamleys with hilarious consequences.

 

Monster's In - Rugby team delighted their no.8 has recovered in time from concussion.

 

The Lord of The Rigs (trilogy) - 9 hours of POV of the boss of an oil rig wearing a GoPro on his head walking around keeping up morale in a depressed isolated work force. 5 hours of Bonus Scenes/Bloopers and the things that didn't make the cut…. 

 

Hat Women Want - Different camera angles of a really nice expensive hat through a shop window.

 

Snake on a Plane - Very brief documentary following the discovery, and efficient capture, of one harmless grass snake from a commercial flight.

 

No Country For Old Me - Autobiographical story about my struggling to keep up with the modern world.

 

Unset Boulevard - Account of how one American road was laid, paved and set.

 

'Apocalypse? No' - Never happens.

 

Enemy Of The Stat - The demise of an accountant who hates his job.

 

Obocop - A policeman calms criminals by playing tunes on a wind instrument.

 

Aging Bull - Documentary-series about a bovine growing old alone. 

 

Dadpool - A father of three swims 100 lengths of Brixton Lido.

 

Baby Diver - National Graphic test how well newborns can adapt to open water.

 

War Of The Planet Of The PES - Five-hour movie involving FIFA fans.

 

Ladiator - A student at Liverpool university tries to sleep with as many girls as possible to get revenge on his cheating Italian girlfriend. 

 

 

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